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Sunday, July 27, 2008

Realization and Strong Aversion: DRAMA

I was browsing through my blog archives because of hatred (Miss Emo), and I quietly stumbled upon this: http://basedonafictionalstory.blogspot.com/2008/05/what-life-what-friend-what-year-what.html . Suddenly, I feel amazed. What I said was right. To quote my own self: "I feel like something's so wrong. I feel like something's gonna fall apart soon." That was months ago. I should have listened to my OWN premonition. Crappy me. That's what happens when society and time force you to oppose your own gullible nature.

I really am perceptive!

Now, now. I won't be hasty. I won't feed ego.

I quote myself again: "I don't want drama."

Who does want drama? Nought one - especially me. I mean, I experienced inferno, purgatorio and paradiso all in ONE SCHOOL YEAR last year. So yes, I am in the position to abhor drama with every fiber of my being. So, instead of drama, I received "reality". Sometimes it's better dealing with reality than drama. Because, contrary to popular belief, reality is actually easier and a lot less complex than a terse, succint: "drama".

Drama is fake. And I hate fake.

Here is to quote myself again:

"This school year is gonna be full of "I Don'ts and I'm Nots"

  1. I don't want drama
  2. I'm not gonna cry and shed a single tear over something stupid and trifle (like a love story)
  3. I'm not takin' much responsibilities - it's time to be...
  4. I'm not gonna abuse technology and sleep with it (look what happened to me - cue sickness - w/in a span of 10 months)
  5. I'm not gonna be able to (oh gasp) listen to my iPod for an hour anymore (cue stupid sickness)
  6. I don't want sleepless nights anymore even though my system clock doesn't stop ticking - which means I'm insomniac
  7. I'm not gonna flunk a freaking math test anymore - this I swear with heart, blood, head and paw
  8. I'm not gonna waste time playing - time to really grow up"

I said it myself. Even though that's like three months ago or so. Look at number 2: I told myself I won't shed a tear. Oh, so true. I haven't shed a tear nor will I do so this year. Not over some stupid thing, at least. Btw, I violated number 5. Oh, and number 7 works real great. I was the only one who perfected a math test in my class - math class. Yes, even beating the MTAP people. See? This is what happens when you make a list during the summer! Heavens! Sorry, I ain't bragging. Simply beaming because...well, you know how it works when you're in a cream section. Crema de la crema. Crap de la crap.

Basically, I hate a lot of things right now. I have a humongous heap of problems. So, you're asking, what's the difference - this year from last year?

The difference is: it's not drama anymore. It's REAL. Like, it stares at you. And, well, I don't love 5 anymore. I miss 1-5 badly. I was a bee back in 1-5 but people there were'nt bees, just a li'l immature. Unlike NOW.

I'm starting to rethink: maybe I should start being my old reclusive self again.

Or maybe that's a bad idea. I have the GUILD - my real love! I have Chinese Sec A and basically, I have a social empire - one that's not really going strong currently because of the Hyksos Dynasty (aka some people from 5 and some people from foreign lands).

Welll.....

Maybe I'm an asset.

Maybe I'm not.

Maybe you just lost me...

Maybe it's tough luck.


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