Epiphany

Now I know. Life is all about waiting. It's all about waiting for this...and that. I've been subconsciously waiting for an epiphany. Something that might signal, I don't know, a beacon of light, I guess. And now I finally have it here with me. Right by my side. And tell you what, after writing this post, I will surrender....to the light. I will step into the light.

This light helped me realize who I truly must trust. Who I truly need to be. WHAT I truly need to be. . . and what I NEED to do. If I could just elaborate here the vivid details... If I could just spill out everything in this blog without hurting a creature. A human being. I'd do it now. If only I had such a low EQ score. But no, I have a high comprehension on social drawbacks and social situations. But if, for once, I could just pour my heart out into something or somewhere without jeopardizing myself and other people.... If, for once, I pretend to be ignorant of peoples' feelings...

I can't do it of course. That's basically what makes me Catherine. Catherine Tan.

Yet, it must be noted here that beneath all this soot, I love myself. I love myself so much. Not like Narcissus. But I love myself enough. Enough to be able to...do this. Whatever this is. (Sheesh, too much ellipsis).

You know what else the light tells me? That I've grown 10 times stronger than my freshman self. Than my old, old self.

Thanks to my friends from my Chinese class and my friends from Writers' Guild. Heck, the whole Guild itself. I owe a life to them. And to YPZhuang, PLYao, EMTan, JMKho from...somewhere out there.

Now, time to step into that light....