Noise Pollution! Hail to the D-E-A-F

I believe that I wrote a post somewhere in my blogosphere history that discussed the conflicts and the antics of a much neglected societal problem. That is, Noise Pollution. Caps on the initials, my friends.

Caps on the initials, I reiterate.

For one, I have an ear problem. An ear problem or two. Or three. You get the point, I mean, if you know my "sickness" whatsoever. Let's make it plural, more elaborate. My SICKNESSES. They ALL involve the ear. I'm not blaming my sacred iPod nor am I blaming my overflowing iTunes library. I blame the bedmaned noise itself - the ugly, fugly noise. I don't wanna be misleading, but lemme tell ya this: sometimes the noise-maker is the NOISE itself and vice versa. So, if you're a noise-maker, go fug and donate a million bucks to charity for the deaf. Or for people like me.

Currently, though, my ear begins to feel its "sickness". Because of the noise.

I can't stand it.

I can't face it.

I can't dare listen to it.

I can't live with it.

I can't die with it.

I can't do anything with it.

I can't do anything FOR it.

I can't think clearly with it.

I can't fix my loose holes with it.

I can't friggin' deal with it.

I can't .... TYPE with it screamin' in the background.

Oh, the noise.

I can't HEAR MYSELF THINK when I'm WITH it.

It's not even MUSIC! It's a SAVAGE BEAST THAT GNAWS THROUGH YOUR AUDITORY CANAL AND MAKES YOUR BRAIN CELLS MURDER YOUR OWN BRAIN.

Eventually, when your brain is dead, you won't be able to listen to your sweet, dear, beloved, decadent, heavenly iPod.

And then you die a tragic death.

Noise.

Hummmph. Freaking crappiness, I cannot stand it.

I'm too useful to die a noise death.