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Saturday, July 12, 2008

My Heart is on My Sleeves

It's been so long since I last posted, that's the evident truth. Another evident truth is, that I may actually be in Stage 2 of self-actualization. Perhaps, I'm gonna need to babble in this post to expound.

Sorry, Fictio Auto, you're not updated with my life anymore. Tsk Tsk Tsk. Actually, 50% of the people who became part of my life last school year ain't updated with my life anymore. Tsk Tsk Tsk. I don't really know what happened, but it just sort of did.

You see, I'm the kind of person who likes variety (yes, a la LL). And in this variety, I want change. I want heaps of change. I want peoples' eyes to be open to the world of diversity! I mean, if you wanna be really good, you can't just sit there and watch the world rotate in its axis. You're supposed to MOVE with it, nutjob! For all you know the world keeps rotating and you're just there sitting in your arse, laughing your arse off with your friends, staring at ME who's workin' my arse off trying to move the world with my own little voice, my own little force. So basically, those who sit, laugh arses off and watch me work my arse off are outta my life. By hook or by crook.

That sounds mean, eh? Well, it's just frank.

This is actually nice, getting to know my self.

But the negative side is, the 50% who sit, laugh and stare; and equally don't know me are left in the poor fray. I want to include them in my life. And I'm 100% sure that they want me to be in theirs - as they say so - but it's gonna take more than my little voice to do so.

I just keep getting sick and tired of the same things. The same WRONG things. The same immature things. The same overrated things. So sick of it all.

I want to hear new laughter. I want to hear the music of their guffaws for good reasons. For mature reasons. Nobody's moving. We're all supposed to mature together. But what's happening, exactly? Devolution of the human teenagers? Such flaws. So many flaws, so little time.

I've tried my hand at what I do best - helping. Psychoanalyzing each and every individual. Does it work? Yes! But does it work effective immediately? NO! Besides, 50% of the 50% are using me for academic, intellectual reasons. Some friends you are!

A tiny flame in my head burst my bubble. According to this flame, what I aim for is impossible. For real, I extinguished that damn flame the minute it ignited. Seriously. My friends - my long-time friends since first year (Cha, Mollie, Camille - just to name a staggering few) are still here. With me. Updated. Not sitting, laughing and staring. But they're moving with me.

And hopefully that would go the same way with my other friends who, unfortunately have marauded into the limbo of oblivion.

Wake up! You're 20,000 leagues under this loamy soil!

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