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Thursday, October 16, 2008

What One Mouth Sayeth, the Other Sayeth Nay

Maybe I'm depressed? In a no-drama, no-biased way. I don't want to fully acknowledge that notion just yet. That's the last thing I wanna BE these days - depressed. After all, I can't trust my own judgment on this because I'm neurotic therefore I'm hypochondriac (hypochondriac means that I'm paranoid when it comes to sicknesses - but don't worry, it's not a personality disorder).

What made me think of depression? Well, here:

This is an article from a website - WebMD (here's the full link):

You may already know some of the emotional and psychological effects of depression. They include:

  • Feeling sad, empty, hopeless, or numb. These feelings are with you most of the day, every day.
  • Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy. You might no longer bother with hobbies that you used to love. You might not like being around friends. You might lose interest in sex.
  • Irritability or anxiety. You might be short-tempered and find it hard to relax.
  • Trouble making decisions. Depression can make it hard to think clearly or concentrate. Making a simple choice can seem overwhelming.
  • Feeling guilty or worthless. These feelings are often exaggerated or inappropriate to the situation. You might feel guilty for things that aren't your fault or that you have no control over. Or you may feel intense guilt for minor mistakes.
  • Thoughts of death and suicide. The types of thoughts vary. Some people wish that they were dead, feeling that the world would be better off without them. Others make very explicit plans to hurt themselves.
Whew.

Let's assess.

1. Feeling sad, empty and hopeless - Check. (No need to expound. The cause of this is obvious: inner self struggles)

2. Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy - Check. One word: Friends. I'm getting so tired of their drama and the cause of their drama. Their drama becomes my drama too because of course, I'm concerned about them. Although I love them, I'm kind of getting tired and weary of them. Makes sense?

3. Irritability or anxiety - Check. Due to a LOT of reasons. See number 1 and number 2.

4. Trouble making decisions - Check. My head isn't clear at all. It's filled with thoughts painstakingly dispersed in my brain.

5. Feeling guilty or worthless - Semi-Check. I don't feel worthless at all. But I do feel guilty because of personal things.

6. Thoughts of death and suicide - Semi-Check. I don't think about suicide, but I think of death. In fact, I'm currently writing a story about death.



So there.

Am I depressed?

Should I be in shame - I'm a psychologist who happens to be DEPRESSED?

Depressed or distressed?

At least I have Phantom Planet!

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