Noise Pollution! Hail to the D-E-A-F

I believe that I wrote a post somewhere in my blogosphere history that discussed the conflicts and the antics of a much neglected societal problem. That is, Noise Pollution. Caps on the initials, my friends.

Caps on the initials, I reiterate.

For one, I have an ear problem. An ear problem or two. Or three. You get the point, I mean, if you know my "sickness" whatsoever. Let's make it plural, more elaborate. My SICKNESSES. They ALL involve the ear. I'm not blaming my sacred iPod nor am I blaming my overflowing iTunes library. I blame the bedmaned noise itself - the ugly, fugly noise. I don't wanna be misleading, but lemme tell ya this: sometimes the noise-maker is the NOISE itself and vice versa. So, if you're a noise-maker, go fug and donate a million bucks to charity for the deaf. Or for people like me.

Currently, though, my ear begins to feel its "sickness". Because of the noise.

I can't stand it.

I can't face it.

I can't dare listen to it.

I can't live with it.

I can't die with it.

I can't do anything with it.

I can't do anything FOR it.

I can't think clearly with it.

I can't fix my loose holes with it.

I can't friggin' deal with it.

I can't .... TYPE with it screamin' in the background.

Oh, the noise.

I can't HEAR MYSELF THINK when I'm WITH it.

It's not even MUSIC! It's a SAVAGE BEAST THAT GNAWS THROUGH YOUR AUDITORY CANAL AND MAKES YOUR BRAIN CELLS MURDER YOUR OWN BRAIN.

Eventually, when your brain is dead, you won't be able to listen to your sweet, dear, beloved, decadent, heavenly iPod.

And then you die a tragic death.

Noise.

Hummmph. Freaking crappiness, I cannot stand it.

I'm too useful to die a noise death.

Fictio Auto

My blog is named Fictional Autobiography for a reason, you dickhead.

Buzz off if you're just gonna eff with it.

Yes, I said buzz off. Before I make you cry. Like what SHE and SHE did when we were sophomores.


That's why I hate giving my URL and my opinions to dickheads and nutjobs like you.

Epiphany

Now I know. Life is all about waiting. It's all about waiting for this...and that. I've been subconsciously waiting for an epiphany. Something that might signal, I don't know, a beacon of light, I guess. And now I finally have it here with me. Right by my side. And tell you what, after writing this post, I will surrender....to the light. I will step into the light.

This light helped me realize who I truly must trust. Who I truly need to be. WHAT I truly need to be. . . and what I NEED to do. If I could just elaborate here the vivid details... If I could just spill out everything in this blog without hurting a creature. A human being. I'd do it now. If only I had such a low EQ score. But no, I have a high comprehension on social drawbacks and social situations. But if, for once, I could just pour my heart out into something or somewhere without jeopardizing myself and other people.... If, for once, I pretend to be ignorant of peoples' feelings...

I can't do it of course. That's basically what makes me Catherine. Catherine Tan.

Yet, it must be noted here that beneath all this soot, I love myself. I love myself so much. Not like Narcissus. But I love myself enough. Enough to be able to...do this. Whatever this is. (Sheesh, too much ellipsis).

You know what else the light tells me? That I've grown 10 times stronger than my freshman self. Than my old, old self.

Thanks to my friends from my Chinese class and my friends from Writers' Guild. Heck, the whole Guild itself. I owe a life to them. And to YPZhuang, PLYao, EMTan, JMKho from...somewhere out there.

Now, time to step into that light....