It's simple, plain and a piece of cake.
Even though I have turned into a different color this summer, even though I still spend time with my closest friends and have fun with them in that pursuit, even though I have gained nice, new summer friends, even though I'm a mathematical genius once again since my brain wanted it back, even though I try my best to get an A+ on this subject called "being human", even though I feel fulfilled now, something just goes wrong.
S0mething is going wrong currently in my system.
This something is something I haven't felt for the past year.
This something is a little bit on the verge of scarring my mind.
This something is pulling too much pranks and mind games on my day-to-day life. And I am a hundred percent sure that it would seep through the school year - which, if you ask me, is a bad thing.
This something is a little thing called jealousy.
I have the power to be jealous, and I am in the right vantage point to get jealous.
It's not even envy. It's just jealousy.
What am I supposed to do? JEALOUSY is something you cannot let your soul control, it's like a reflex. And how do you douse reflexes, huh? By throwing reflexes back? To make this person jealous? This person doesn't even know how to get jealous, dammit! Is he/she/it doing it on purpose? Seriously?
There has to be some way! I mean I'm at wits end here, sitting here, typing this damned message when I KNOW for a fact that while everything here is killing me, everything that's killing me is making him/her/it alive. WHY?
Why does this kind of thing happen to me?
Am I supposed to just sit here and watch ANTM to make all the jealousy go away?
Am I supposed to ignore this kind of thing and start memorizing the value of Pi? Am I supposed to turn my head and start going to the gym to neutralize this kind of feeling?Am I supposed to pull a Lindsay Lohan and start focusing on my "career" instead of my party life - or whatever "life" this person is in? Am I supposed to ignore it? I know for a fact that ignoring an emotion, a feeling, a thought is like provoking it. Down with the torpedoes, full speed ahead. And that's where this feeling is going - full spead ahead.
To hell with this emotion. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Dammit.
Can I just refuse to acknowledge this feeling? It's a Monday, after all. A Monday that isn't even rainy enough to shatter my shield. My invisible shield. Whatever that may be.
Am I supposed to sit here, just like that? HOW CAN I GET RID OF THIS? I'm not even insecure anymore! Just jealous. Really. Just, just jealous...that destiny didn't provide me the right place, right time, right feeling that is meant to be pursued.
Now I'm stuck here listening to something called "Broken" by Lifehouse.
Even though I have turned into a different color this summer, even though I still spend time with my closest friends and have fun with them in that pursuit, even though I have gained nice, new summer friends, even though I'm a mathematical genius once again since my brain wanted it back, even though I try my best to get an A+ on this subject called "being human", even though I feel fulfilled now, something just goes wrong.
S0mething is going wrong currently in my system.
This something is something I haven't felt for the past year.
This something is a little bit on the verge of scarring my mind.
This something is pulling too much pranks and mind games on my day-to-day life. And I am a hundred percent sure that it would seep through the school year - which, if you ask me, is a bad thing.
This something is a little thing called jealousy.
I have the power to be jealous, and I am in the right vantage point to get jealous.
It's not even envy. It's just jealousy.
What am I supposed to do? JEALOUSY is something you cannot let your soul control, it's like a reflex. And how do you douse reflexes, huh? By throwing reflexes back? To make this person jealous? This person doesn't even know how to get jealous, dammit! Is he/she/it doing it on purpose? Seriously?
There has to be some way! I mean I'm at wits end here, sitting here, typing this damned message when I KNOW for a fact that while everything here is killing me, everything that's killing me is making him/her/it alive. WHY?
Why does this kind of thing happen to me?
Am I supposed to just sit here and watch ANTM to make all the jealousy go away?
Am I supposed to ignore this kind of thing and start memorizing the value of Pi? Am I supposed to turn my head and start going to the gym to neutralize this kind of feeling?Am I supposed to pull a Lindsay Lohan and start focusing on my "career" instead of my party life - or whatever "life" this person is in? Am I supposed to ignore it? I know for a fact that ignoring an emotion, a feeling, a thought is like provoking it. Down with the torpedoes, full speed ahead. And that's where this feeling is going - full spead ahead.
To hell with this emotion. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Dammit.
Can I just refuse to acknowledge this feeling? It's a Monday, after all. A Monday that isn't even rainy enough to shatter my shield. My invisible shield. Whatever that may be.
Am I supposed to sit here, just like that? HOW CAN I GET RID OF THIS? I'm not even insecure anymore! Just jealous. Really. Just, just jealous...that destiny didn't provide me the right place, right time, right feeling that is meant to be pursued.
Now I'm stuck here listening to something called "Broken" by Lifehouse.
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