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Thursday, May 22, 2008

What a Life, What a Friend, What a Year, What the Heck?

"Levemente cada vez que el viento sopla te respiro"

I don't speak fluent Spanish but I know what that Spanish line means (it means "lightly, every time the wind blows, I breathe you" - I breathe myself. I need to) ; and I consequently breathe that into myself for reasons I care not to elaborate.

It's 10: 12 PM in my clock (it's either late or in advance, not exactly the right time) and the night breeze does me nothing but make me feel uneasy. Particularly because of medical reasons - I'm scared and I honestly have no idea when this feeling would go away. This time, it's not because of that "sickness" I used to mention. I just worry too much. One small stone falls out of place and I turn the prob into a hard rock. This is bad. This is anxiety. I'm not even supposed to be using the Net right now but I lust for time to reflect.

I feel like something's so wrong. I feel like something's gonna fall apart soon. Or maybe it's because of this stupid medical thing. Screw health. Screw it, damn. I remember particularly telling myself to lay off caring for my HEALTH. Yet now. Oh now. I do the opposite. I think I'm supposed to be doing something else right now. Worrying is waste. Worrying makes haste. Worrying sucks! I really don't need this right now. Just please let this go away.

I don't want drama.

Breathe. "Levemente cada vez que el viento sopla te respiro."

Let's change topics.

Let's talk about what I love to talk about here in my blog: my life. (*insert Gossip Girl's voice tone here*) Fictional Autobiography where everything might be fact and anything might be fiction.

Dramarama - it was supposed to be this movie that LL was supposed to film and produce but when she ditched the whole Teen Queen gig, it was ditched. Now, I'm sayin', if you make my life a movie that would be it. Drama would be it. What I learned from Lindsay is this: The actress makes the drama. I make my own drama. In fact, I have a whole factory producing coats, hats and all sorts of chains made purely of Golden Drama. So I got into this Summer Class thing - I care not elaborate - and in the midst of it, there, laying like a Golden Buddha, Drama just poofed, voila-ed, and showed itself like a camouflaged snake. Some friend you are. Yes, a friend. Our friendship won't last. It's teetering on its wheel now. Uggh. I'm talking about my imaginary friend (*insert sarcastic voice*) who does nothing but change for the worse. Some friendships just don't last. Just look at LC and Heidi (eww) Montag. They weren't even the best of friends...

But I believe that some best friends are forever. When luck just chases you both away and Destiny brings you guys as friends again...

This isn't just the right thing. We fall apart even though we don't want to fall apart - from each other. Even though we still wanna be friends (I'm talking about my imaginary friend here, not the best friend). What does that say about our friendship?

Somehow, I don't want to answer that. You and I both know that this ain't gonna work. Destiny doesn't want it to happen. But I could say that we both tried.

Let's see what happens next summer - when we see each other again.

Change topics again.

This school year is gonna be full of "I Don'ts and I'm Nots"

  1. I don't want drama
  2. I'm not gonna cry and shed a single tear over something stupid and trifle (like a love story)
  3. I'm not takin' much responsibilities - it's time to be...
  4. I'm not gonna abuse technology and sleep with it (look what happened to me - cue sickness - w/in a span of 10 months)
  5. I'm not gonna be able to (oh gasp) listen to my iPod for an hour anymore (cue stupid sickness)
  6. I don't want sleepless nights anymore even though my system clock doesn't stop ticking - which means I'm insomniac
  7. I'm not gonna flunk a freaking math test anymore - this I swear with heart, blood, head and paw
  8. I'm not gonna waste time playing - time to really grow up

Before I sign off and say "xoxo, you know you love me..." I need to say this: someone's already writing MY fictional autobiography. Watch for it. In shelves sometime in 2015.




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