Thirsty But I Can't Drink

For once, I'm keeping my philosophy and my psychoanalysis intact.

Think again!

Indeed, think again. I'm having little synaptic breakdowns again - there's something wrong with my neurons, they just can't seem to think right. I'm lacking the presence of mind again. You know, I just wish my mind would stop wandering away from its home. I'll be sick of that.

Speaking of my brain, there's something IT wants to drink but cannot seem to because of my laziness. It's thirsty with things - not just one, but many. I'm thirsty but I can't seem to grab one tall glass of water. Or better yet, one tall glass of a gallon of water. If that is in any way possible. I'm so sick of my brain. Why can't I control it? Are my neurons dysfunctional in a way that they cannot connect my brain to my errrr thinking AND willpower? Moreover, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

Time, Enemies and Chances 2

Author’s Note: This post was written two weeks ago. I really like this one – it had too much emotions. I know that writing NOT in the spur of the moment leaves the content emotionless, but I do hope you extract some from this because I used LOTS in writing this. Matter of fact, I used my Chinese Math teacher’s (kuracha) period here which is a hard thing to do, by the way. (Don’t wanna get caught! That would tarnish my goody-good girl impression while in the Chinese instruction. You know very well what I mean because I’ve mentioned it before, right? LOL). Refer to the other post here called “Of Time, Chances and Enemies”.

Here we go again…

… of time, chances and enemies.

Time wants to be friends with me, I learned. He probably saw my blog post and decided I was good enough. In fact, I think he’s been obsessed with me since. Why? He’s been tugging along with my every move, entering my life and pushing away even my closest of friends. Honestly, I don’t like it when he does that. When Time and I talk, though, he keeps on telling me recounts of the past. Now, there’s nothing wrong with that, really. There’s nothing wrong with Time moving backward – not at all!

That statement was an epiphany. And that epiphany made me like moving backward. Now I’m obsessed and possessed. I don’t know if I want to stick to the present and at the same time elope with Time to the past. But if I do so, the chances of me living my ideal me would leave me. Then the only enemy I would have would be I. I don’t know what to do. If I let go of Time, things would be the same as it was back then but he would be the enemy. Tell you what, I’ve had enough enemies for a year.

Now I’m pondering, would Time really regard me as an enemy?

Life is Like ...

I imagine myself soaking someone into a pool of alcohol. Vodka, martini, daiquiri, whatever. Preferably, all of them mixed together. And who’s that “someone”? You should have guessed by now. Me. Myself. And. I.

My life is so simple when you make it simple, but it ain’t so simple when you don’t. It’s like alcoholism – life in general is like alcoholism…so simple yet so complex. So easy yet so difficult.

Why I am comparing life to such a thing is due to my behavioral observations (cue LL).

And life’s like this and that:

You drink straight from the bottle

Gulp one more

And one more

And double that

And double the doubles

Get hooked

Drink more

Get addicted

Indulge

Experience problems

More, bigger problems

Crash your car

Go to rehab

Leave rehab

Abstain

Relapse

Back to rehab

Do God-knows-what in rehab

Relapse

Deny

Deny

Don’t stop

Hit rock-bottom

Go to rehab once more

Reflect

Accept

Change

Move on

Leave rehab

Enter real world…

And when you enter the “real world” is the time you choose…