Requiem

I joined the DLSU...and I LOST! But it's okay, I'd anticipated the loss days prior, anyway. And I'm glad I didn't join the Battle of the Brains too - it just proved that even what I wanted the most couldn't hinder me from self-satisfaction.

So I guess, I'm good. I've really matured.... OH and KEVS! Congratulations for winning the Battle of the Brains! I think you were the most humble person in the bunch... humility deserves awards and recognition. Not to mention, you really ARE good at your craft. (Is there prize money?)

Btw, this is my 151st post. And I guess, it'll be one of my last. A certain kind of maturity has obliged me to make a new blog. This time, though, I'm not deleting this. In fact, this'll always be here - always, always, always. I want to keep my past in tune with my present.

Of Decisions, Choices... and Hurt Part 2

When it comes right down to it, I guess there's no such thing as being the jack of all trades. It simply is farfetched. I can't be a writer and at the same time a brainy geek. I think this is God's way of telling me that I can't be two things at the same time.




For the record, peeps, I'm flipping The Coin.

Of Decisions, Choices... and Hurt

I have to make a decision tonight.

On January 31, 2009, the Battle of the Brains and the DLSU Eco-Art Competition will take place at the same time (but not at the same place). The thing is, I don't know which to choose.

I know, I know, it may seem to be easy, simple...whatever. But for me, it's different.

Case 1: Battle of the Brains

The truth is, I wanna win the Battle of the Brains because, of course, of the title. Duh. And I want to prove people wrong. They (as in my "supportive" "classmates" and "friends") kept saying: "Si Aldric naman mananalo diyan eh! Obvious naman eh!", "Magaling yan si Aldric, kayang-kaya niya yan!"

And I'm so hurt.

Kasi... mas mataas score ko sa Philippine History, Asian History, World History, General Info and Current Events kaysa sa kanya...Math lang naman kasi eh (which he downright perfected). And it's so fucking unfair. People automatically ajudge that the valedictorian would win any contest he'd join. (But, as luck would have it, no valedictorians have ever won the BoB before.)

Thank GOODNESS for Ellyn, Cha, and Mollie! The THREE people who were uber-supportive of my fetish for history... ang Cha was so rooting for me! She said I was really gonna win. Cha, I love you. I really do. You deserve a shelf of Chick-Lit books, Cha. I can't explain how supportive she was! I MEAN IT. Like, everyday, there're words of support. Really, I can't explain. And Ellyn! She may not have Cha's ways of reminding me that I could really ace it, but you can tell how SINCERE she is. Sincerity, amidst a sea of drama, is heaven.

Why do I want to win? Because I want to redeem my title. I've won Social Science/Gen Info competitions before (outside the school - back when I was still in Sakya) and I want to prove that YES, I'm GREAT. I'm GOOD. I'm BETTER. Call me insecure, but it's just my true feelings. Nakakainis kasi, left and right, iisa lang ang naririnig kong statement. It's like you KNOW you're better. But you can't prove it.

Of course, since, as you can see, I'm TOO confident about this, it would be VERY HARD for me to accept defeat.

You know why else I wanna win? Because of the rewards at stake. If I win, since I'm a FIVE-er, I'm gonna have the chance to join interschool competitions like the REAL Battle of the Brains, quiz bees, other stuff.

Case 2: DLSU Writing Competition

You know, I was so keen on joining the BoB because I thought I really was going to win... but because of the lack of support my "FRIENDS" give me, it kinda dragged me down....Parang, you're down because they're down for you.. Sabi pa nga nung isa: "Mag-DLSU ka na lang. Magaling si aldric eh so maliit chance na manalo." it's like FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. Why does everybody automatically ASSUME that he's going to win? Let me get this straight, I've NOTHING against him. He's my friend. And if he reads this, I hope he understands that I'm pissed at other people's judgment, not at him.


The whole dragging down thing kinda made me want to choose DLSU. Top that off with Julie Diane's and Mr. Delos Reyes' EFFECTIVE, EFFORTLESS CONVINCING (and nagging), I kind of want to join the DLSU now. And I know THE TOPIC VERY WELL. The theme's gonna be all about MY OP-ED (which I'd so carefully written because I wanted to win a Yuyitung). So there. Besides, if I lose the Battle, it's gonna be really hard for me.

THIS SUCKS.


Guys, PLEASE DO COMMENT ON THIS DECISION-MAKING THING before I head to rehab.



Hey, maybe I should just ditch both contests?