Requiem

I joined the DLSU...and I LOST! But it's okay, I'd anticipated the loss days prior, anyway. And I'm glad I didn't join the Battle of the Brains too - it just proved that even what I wanted the most couldn't hinder me from self-satisfaction.

So I guess, I'm good. I've really matured.... OH and KEVS! Congratulations for winning the Battle of the Brains! I think you were the most humble person in the bunch... humility deserves awards and recognition. Not to mention, you really ARE good at your craft. (Is there prize money?)

Btw, this is my 151st post. And I guess, it'll be one of my last. A certain kind of maturity has obliged me to make a new blog. This time, though, I'm not deleting this. In fact, this'll always be here - always, always, always. I want to keep my past in tune with my present.

Of Decisions, Choices... and Hurt Part 2

When it comes right down to it, I guess there's no such thing as being the jack of all trades. It simply is farfetched. I can't be a writer and at the same time a brainy geek. I think this is God's way of telling me that I can't be two things at the same time.




For the record, peeps, I'm flipping The Coin.

Of Decisions, Choices... and Hurt

I have to make a decision tonight.

On January 31, 2009, the Battle of the Brains and the DLSU Eco-Art Competition will take place at the same time (but not at the same place). The thing is, I don't know which to choose.

I know, I know, it may seem to be easy, simple...whatever. But for me, it's different.

Case 1: Battle of the Brains

The truth is, I wanna win the Battle of the Brains because, of course, of the title. Duh. And I want to prove people wrong. They (as in my "supportive" "classmates" and "friends") kept saying: "Si Aldric naman mananalo diyan eh! Obvious naman eh!", "Magaling yan si Aldric, kayang-kaya niya yan!"

And I'm so hurt.

Kasi... mas mataas score ko sa Philippine History, Asian History, World History, General Info and Current Events kaysa sa kanya...Math lang naman kasi eh (which he downright perfected). And it's so fucking unfair. People automatically ajudge that the valedictorian would win any contest he'd join. (But, as luck would have it, no valedictorians have ever won the BoB before.)

Thank GOODNESS for Ellyn, Cha, and Mollie! The THREE people who were uber-supportive of my fetish for history... ang Cha was so rooting for me! She said I was really gonna win. Cha, I love you. I really do. You deserve a shelf of Chick-Lit books, Cha. I can't explain how supportive she was! I MEAN IT. Like, everyday, there're words of support. Really, I can't explain. And Ellyn! She may not have Cha's ways of reminding me that I could really ace it, but you can tell how SINCERE she is. Sincerity, amidst a sea of drama, is heaven.

Why do I want to win? Because I want to redeem my title. I've won Social Science/Gen Info competitions before (outside the school - back when I was still in Sakya) and I want to prove that YES, I'm GREAT. I'm GOOD. I'm BETTER. Call me insecure, but it's just my true feelings. Nakakainis kasi, left and right, iisa lang ang naririnig kong statement. It's like you KNOW you're better. But you can't prove it.

Of course, since, as you can see, I'm TOO confident about this, it would be VERY HARD for me to accept defeat.

You know why else I wanna win? Because of the rewards at stake. If I win, since I'm a FIVE-er, I'm gonna have the chance to join interschool competitions like the REAL Battle of the Brains, quiz bees, other stuff.

Case 2: DLSU Writing Competition

You know, I was so keen on joining the BoB because I thought I really was going to win... but because of the lack of support my "FRIENDS" give me, it kinda dragged me down....Parang, you're down because they're down for you.. Sabi pa nga nung isa: "Mag-DLSU ka na lang. Magaling si aldric eh so maliit chance na manalo." it's like FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. Why does everybody automatically ASSUME that he's going to win? Let me get this straight, I've NOTHING against him. He's my friend. And if he reads this, I hope he understands that I'm pissed at other people's judgment, not at him.


The whole dragging down thing kinda made me want to choose DLSU. Top that off with Julie Diane's and Mr. Delos Reyes' EFFECTIVE, EFFORTLESS CONVINCING (and nagging), I kind of want to join the DLSU now. And I know THE TOPIC VERY WELL. The theme's gonna be all about MY OP-ED (which I'd so carefully written because I wanted to win a Yuyitung). So there. Besides, if I lose the Battle, it's gonna be really hard for me.

THIS SUCKS.


Guys, PLEASE DO COMMENT ON THIS DECISION-MAKING THING before I head to rehab.



Hey, maybe I should just ditch both contests?

I Can't Think of a Title

It's 1:05 AM in my clock, as of now. And I wanna cry myself to sleep.

Sadly (no pun intended), I can't cry.


This is so tragic.


Is this what they call depression?

Reclusion, Thy Name is I

I feel like one of those old, sick, dying book characters tormented writers write about.

I got the old feel in the pockets. My environment, it seems to me, is antique. Some of my "friends" have faded into the background of an old 50's movie that will presumably be forgettable. My previous "passions" (can't believe I just used the word in plural form) have dissolved into a new (old, actually) kind of impasse...one that I can't explain thoroughly because I don't understand much either. I feel like I just lived and excruciatingly survived 9 lifetimes.

And my birthday is fast-approaching.


So yeah, I feel old.



I am a human disease stick. My life energy is currently getting sucked up by random whirlpools that come in the forms of "friends", enemies and ... internal factors (like too much anxiety, paranoia and hypochondria). Literally, I AM a human disease stick. Today's just 4 days since my high fever bid adieu to my body...and I've already relapsed. Right now, I'm coughing. My throat feels as if a meter stick of a rose with bloody thorns had stuck to it. And there's an overall feeling of dizziness. Alas, my vertigo attacks!

And I feel like...puking which is as rare as Mowgli's syndrome. (Mowgli's syndrome is rare, right?)


So yeah, I feel sick.



I define life as an equilibrium of...things. Now that my social life has gone off the hook, I'm dead. Or at least, part of me is dead. Or maybe dying. Truth is, I don't really know. I've got heaps of problems again. I vow to anticipate the first few weeks of January from now on. Something tragic always happens weeks before my birthday. The weighing scales of my life have either burst because of obesity or anorexia. I know, I know. I could get sued for my choice of words. But getting sued is actually better than facing drama that my "friends" have bequeathed me (let's just substitute the word "bequeathed" with the word "BETRAYED" - all caps) with. How big of a fool am I, anyway? I've had let these "friends" betray me before and I've done so AGAIN. I should be awarded for this!

And this is the part where I hate them all for being so defensive for something wrong they did. They should be condemned for doing this to me. I should be hanged for being the most used person in the planet.


So yeah, I feel like I'm dying.



I always tell people: "I have a life!" ...which translates to: My life is near bliss because it's packed with a social life, a family life, a spiritual life, a career (life), a whatever life... you name it, I'm too old, sick, and dying to type.


...but I guess, sometimes, it's actually a plus to not have a life.


Still...


I HAVE A LIFE!

Revenge is Sweeter (Than You Ever Were)

Mark their words: Nemo me impune lacessit "No one harms me with impunity." Yes, that's The Cask of Amontillado to you.

Never have I ever found myself thinking about vengeance...vendetta... revenge...I'd always thought that anyone's (given that he did wrong) conscience would avenge the victim.

But sometimes, revenge gets to you in the weirdest way possible.

Are there two kinds of revenge: good and bad revenge?

Is doing the right thing revenge?

Is it revenge when it's justifiable (logically and rationally speaking)?

Is it still revenge when you're doing "it" to protect someone, say, future successors?

I don't know.

But, seriously, who knows?

These things are beyond dictionary's definition. Moreover, these things are beyond juvenile experiences.

But, readers, if you hear something in the near future that relates to ME, the thought of revenge, the thought of righteousness and morality (like a scandal), refer back to this little post.

The scandal's gonna explode like a tiny bomb. Let's just wait and see.






Only time will tell.

Sinequanone

I added another link to the "Simply Irresistible" Add-On on my sidebar.

Retail therapy will forever be my therapy.


Anyway, here's the new fashion brand I'm obsessing about. It's kind of like Zara, but I think they only differ when it comes to the fabric. Zara's fabric comes from France and Spain. Sinequanone's? I don't know yet. Truth is, I haven't bought anything from this store (yet)...and maybe I will on my birthday (that's January 28, people!)


Where was I? Oh, yeah, I haven't bought anything from this store yet BUT it's all over magazines and haute couture websites so I'm UP for it.


In case you're wondering, sinequanone is actually a Latin word (well, they modified it a bit.) Sine Qua Non is the real deal. It means "(a condition) without which it could not be".

I've no idea how THAT could relate to fashion!


Disclaimer: To my male readers, fret not! I will not continue to barrage your eyes with female power-infused blog posts (not soon, anyway).


HAVE A GREAT DAY!

I'm Corny

Ich liebe Dich




Ik hou van jou




Jag alskar dig




Je t'aime




Te amo




Ti amo



















I love you.